Driving Me Crazy

Are we nearly there Dad?
Is it very far?
Oh he is going to drive me mad
We had just got in the car

Are we nearly there Dad?
Have we far to go?
Oh God this is bad
We had only gone a mile or so

Are we early there Dad?
Is it far away?
Why don’t you take out your i-pad
There must be games you can play

Are we nearly there Dad?
I really have to pee
I know this is sad
But I think he’s doing it deliberately

Are we nearly there Dad?
Is it much further?
I’m losing what patience I had
I will be done for murder.

Are we nearly there Dad?
This is taking a long time
Please, please stop asking lad
Before I commit an awful crime

Are we nearly there Dad?
This is not much fun
You are getting on my nerves a tad
Please give it over Son

Are we nearly there Dad?
I am feeling very sick
Just one more problem to add
I am at the end of my wick

Are we nearly there Dad?
I am really bored
I hope this is just a fad
He might stop if he’s ignored

Are we nearly there Dad?
He asked rather sleepily
If he sleeps I will be glad
I thought, rather guiltily

Are we nearly there Dadeeee?
He started to whine
Why must he keep on and on at me
I really feel like crying

Are we nearly there Dad?
I said yes, five minutes more
It was a white lie, what a cad
But at last, I heard him snore.

Now Son we are here, eventually
We have no further to roam
But he began screaming incessantly
“I just want to go home!!”

Are we nearly there Dad?
Louder and louder he screams
It’s been six months since that trip we had
But I still hear him in my dreams!